I’m an unfinished work of work, its why I won’t let you see me

          I am still in the making, so deep in the making           that some days I don’t even recognize me          

Some parts are already dried up,

 others all wet and raw, it’s disgusting  

         Why would I let you see a half made up brain?           Do you really wanna look at blurry dreams, painted on the wrong canvas(probably)?          

  You wanna listen to incomprehensible stutters that should  explain emotion?

I choose to not subject you to an unformed art

because one day I’m formed, the next I unravel…’s why I won’t let you see me

Letter to my friends

#live love laugh❤️

We sat down and dined
Over ‘tea’ that made us laugh so hard
In the midst of that
Deeper conversations were initiated
Confessions came
With them tears of regret
And how could we not
Talk about our fears in life
And the realization that we have stuck
Together through thick and thin
That our choice of friendship
Quite fell into place without much effort
So we resolve to be there still
Until we can’t anymore

With my friends 💚

Behind shut eyes

When I close my eyes, they open into a kaleidoscope
          not the flashy one you have in mind
But it flashes images of its own kind
Disturbing realities, breathtaking views and distorted beauties
First flashes hope
      then a dungeon of death opens up and swallows it
Those beautiful views are built on burning souls
         sorrowful fires of damnation are made to bounce
         like beautiful and more colourful northern lights
The pattern of the kaleidoscope tilts from beauty to no beautiful messes, but pretty cringing masses
That dungeon of death has a paradox of its own
            for there are lords who live in pure bliss
            and the condemned who barely live to exude the bliss
            needed by their lords
I wanna shut off from this predicament
But I blink and the kaleido gets more flashy
Bigger and more raging furnaces
Burning from more extravagant views and well fed souls
            and I keep blinking and opening and closing and it goes on…..

The troubled folk of Wishire

Down that valley, that deep deep valley lies giants
       giants small in possessions but huge huge dreams
That’s why they crawl up the walls of the valley everyday
      trying to escape
Troubled they risk their eyes falling into their skulls
    but still they strain to watch those that watch them from above
On the foot of their home valley they stand every day
    and look up to the top
    trust that there aren’t such pitiful pairs of eyes elsewhere
Among them are a danger that lingers
A lot that watches them not from above but from the valley
     they don’t know how dangerous they are
     their kinsmen who do not wish to be like those on top of the
For their wish is different
They wonder why their fellow valley-men wish to be up there
Worse, they wonder why they themselves do not share in that wish
     so with haunty eyes, gazes so sharp they pierce hearts
     and slithery steps, they pace around the valley and pose a danger to their valley mates
So, innocent wishers trying to run up walls of a troubled valley
faces trouble from their unwishing mates….

Book review I genuinely enjoyed turning the pages of this book and savoured the sweetness of the story. 100% recommend. Any recommendations please?

Being Alive# it ain’t over yet

Oh the soul–wrecking pain
when they don’t understand what they’re doing to us
The damaged thoughts that run
where rich blood was supposed to be running
The self loathing talk
that has replaced what Christ says about us
The clarity in the upcoming downfall
that has blurred the ever-present hope for humanity
Shoving pain and doubts and anxiety and guilt and hate and betrayal and fear and all wars,
is the only journey we on
Happiness and hope and strength and fulfillment and love and peace and common human decency,
is what we trampled on , on the first journey
Heneous acts of destruction whether self or otherwise
rule the day more than the sun
These dark souls fall asleep in the wee hours
and then we cover them in jokes and sarcasm and smiles and makeup and bright clothes…..
Bodies that have felt the pain and hearts that know it
and minds that keep the pain burning
And then comes the loneliness
the abyssfull of things they don’t know, so we walk alone
We are not ever opening up, so don’t even try prying
however nicely or professional
We’ve spent a lifetime burying it, why let the scorpions out
Waking up means it’s not over yet, so it goes on and on……pain.

We dare Hope

As we get eroded, drained
we cling to the walls of that which has power over us
Plummeting into the dark holes,
we do so with our heads high up looking at the lightened entrances
In alleyways we’ve never been to,
we walk looking back to where we’re coming from

As they push our faces to the ground,
our hands we raise up to grab at the air that never fails us
Even on nights they make us run from our lands,
we leave behind our lit lamps and belongings for when we return
When our knees sore from begging for change,
the legs remain strong for the celebration we await

When they burn where we call home,
we bend and rebuild for the sun rises still
They cheat and rob us but still we work for them,
coz it’s clear they’re old and dying and will soon leave
We are tossed from one side and slapped by the other,
and we still walk on believing we’ve grown stronger.

We still hope
Everyday we dare hope. We are bruised and bleeding but we still hope
We are judged unjustly and we still hope
We are cast out and still hope
When we realize we’re not dead yet, we dare hope.


We go dark

Who knew there would be an end
to doing what we love best
How could we have known that a time would come
when we would choose our worst fears as hobbies

We could walk in an illuminated room
and still manage to leave a trail of darkness
We could be in an island full of all our desires
and still spit on all of them

There could evidently exist a haven of peace and tranquility
and we would fight and kill on our way there
There could be a character-changing room
and boy how we’d frequent that place?

Two sides of something
means two combating groups in humanity
A road that splits into two or more
tears the traveller into equally the same pieces…….

I do want to pray….

I do want to pray,
but my knees won’t bend, my lips won’t part too
and my eyes don’t even close…..

Thoughts are swirling,
but they won’t form into words, my mouth is dry
and tears flow from my popped open eyes

A screaming river is rushing inside of me,
unsettled by the lack of direction,
and it desires to flow smoothly

A God-sent but perturbed companion lives inside of me
for the purpose of guidance,
but my wrecked body won’t let Him

My companion drives me towards THE direction
and most times if not always,
this shell body  resists or strays in a snap

Again my sham shell tries things it’s way
and as always, fails catastrophically
and then I want to pray and invite the Holy Spirit back.

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